“You know, when you accuse someone of giving evidence before they say they even found anything, that’s when you know they’re going to find something,” said Colbert then gave an example: “Officer, before you analyze my breath, I must inform you, I suspect that you planted a fifth of tequila in my stomach.
But Colbert saved some of his harshest words for FoxNews host Ainsley Earhardt, who he said came up with a “very stupid theory” when she hinted that something nefarious was hiding in the backpacks carried by FBI agents.
“What was in those backpacks?” she asked.
“Good point, Ainsley!” Everyone knows you can frisk the cops before they frisk you,” Colbert said. “That’s why I always say to the TSA, ‘Wait, sir. First, I’m going to smash your ass.'”
See more in his Thursday night monologue: